Time heals, it really does heal. This is Westley's 4th anniversary of his life and passing, and I feel different than past years. I didn't cry and I didn't feel the same ache. We lit candles in his memorial garden and had a moment of silence along with saying a few words together with the family. We went through his memory box and I held the tiny crocheted blanket and looked at the ultrasound photos. We opened the box to his ashes and remembered him.
Time has been healing. Other bereaved people told me it would take a minimum of 2-3 years for the pain to start fading, and they were absolutely right. The emotional charge leading up to this day was still there, but there were a multitude of other reasons for it too. But, the pain is fading. Life is continuing on with memories of what it would have been like to have him here such as what it would have been like to push him on the swings as a little 4 year old boy. But life is continuing on. There's two other beautiful little people, well not so little anymore, in my life that I adore and put my attention on. There's a lot of changing circumstances in my life as my husband and I choose to walk a deeper path of healing as we separate. There's new school circumstances in my little one's life that is so exciting to see. There's new career paths in the making to explore. There's new church connections happening and a deeper level of trust and love from God. Life is continuing on.
And I look forward to new adventures.
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