3 Years and Westley's passing brought me protection.

Even though I don't understand why God allows certain things into my life, and I don't always like it, the biggest lesson I've learned is to trust Him.  He's in control.  I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 3 weeks.  Perhaps my subconscious knew Westley's birthday was coming, perhaps it's just the decisions I made.  Regardless, He's in control.

It's been three years since Westley left us and my arms still ache to hold him and tickle him and cuddle him.  My chest actually aches at times when I want to feel his closeness.  I mean this literally, my muscles and bones hurt in my chest, my arms get so sore, and my head throbs.  Emotional pain isn't just emotional, it's real and physical.  It hurts.

After so many years of trial, since our move to the Coast, I soothe myself with the same thought.  He's in control.  I thought I could plan things out, be in control of how things would go, how my schedule would be, how people would respond, what would happen in my life by my goals etc..  Boy was I wrong.  I'm not in control at all.  He is.  I have the option to make decisions I think are the best but the outcome is totally out of my hands.  God has complete control.

I didn't think that his passing would bring any good, but I just experienced protection from God from a horrible crime, because of his passing.  I was purchasing something on the web from Kijiji this week.  I was negotiating a price with the seller and at the end of the back and forth, he wanted me to come to his price.  He said his last price twice, only the second time he gave it some umph by saying for me to take his price "for his daughter's wedding" as to motivate my heart to give in.  I responded with my price and said "for my son's death anniversary which was yesterday, he was a baby." I said this to do the same, motivate his heart to give in to my price.  I couldn't believe what happened next.  He asked me to prove that my story was true, and he would lower the price to below our starting point.  So I gave him the address to my blog that you're reading.  After 2 more responses the most shocking thing happened.  He said "I can't sell you the item, because the item doesn't exist.  Never send money over the internet.  I hope God forgives me for my work."

Westley's passing protected me from making a HUGE financial mistake, thousands; and hopefully turned this man from his ways.

I forgave the person, and appealed to him to purchase the desired item FOR me with the money he's taken from others.  I hope God moves his heart to do so, as a way for making an act of kindness to grow a seed of goodness in his heart and life.  I pray this man turns to helping and giving to people rather than taking from people.

Thank you Lord for always being in control.