I've been getting better. I'm starting to see the good things in life. I just saw the movie "The Secret." I'm trying to say positive thoughts in the place of negative ones. All day I was saying things like..."I'm calm" "I love my home" to try to combat the thoughts of hating the mess that's around my home or the frustration i get when i see the mess. It's working for the most part. I just know I've got to do a whole lot more of it.
I've been frustrated a lot lately, just because I've got a lot of work on my plate and i'd like it to lighten but it's hard do to know how to lighten it. I want to scream some days just to get the frustration out.
I often think to myself "who am I" and then sit quietly...with no answer. some days i have confidence, some days i have confusion. When i'm emotional, I'm confused. When I'm calm, I'm confident. I feel broken today, in pain, and lost. Will I ever really get to know that I can have a happy life. A life that is full of thanks giving, a life that's full of joy. I don't want to complain. Am I complaining? I'm just sad for now. I'm going to a retreat this weekend...quiet time alone is always good. I'll see how I feel later this week. I hope to come back refreshed.
1 comment:
Who are you? - you are real! you are letting your feelings happen what they are the struggles frustrations anger questioning things you are being real with out a mask of "Im fine."
this journey of healing isnt easy. but its easier when Jesus is holding your hand walking with you through it. You may feel all alone and empty just remember that he is there hugging you.
hope you able to read this as I had laser eye surgery and I am extremely frustrated as its been 6 days and I was hoping to see more than I do. I too want to give up and condem my self as to what I have I done. that's when I have to cry out to Jesus for truth and c omfort. I have to rest and let the healing takes it time I want thing now I have things to do REST what's that? Maybe Jesus is teaching me that now?
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