Compassionate friends retreat

This weekend I'm going to "the compassionate friends" retreat.
Compassionate friends www.tcfcanada.net is a support network for people who have lost a child of any age.
I've lost two children. I'm looking forward to it so much. There's nothing as wonderful as meeting others who can relate to your situation and grief. Actually at the 'hope and healing after baby loss' workshop I went to with my husband, mom, dad, and mother in law just 3 days ago, I realized how intensely similar the other bereaved parents feelings were to mine and John's.
Thay also feel jealous when they see others with a healthy baby, angry at other people's stupid and uncaring comments, sad that they are completely helpless about their loss, longing to hold their heaven gone child, and confused as to why it happened to them.
John found it especially helpful to hear all of their stories. I loved hearing my parents all express how they felt.

It seems that the trauma of almost losing me was a bigger trauma to my parents than the trauma of losing the baby. For John he had the intensly traumatic experience of almost losing me, the loss of his son, the loss of his fatherhood because of me, and the loss of his fatherhood with his vasectomy, with no one to support him. No one. I've had some counselling sessions but he's been on his own with his thoughts. He needs more support. To me of course I see the loss of Westley only because it's hard for me to even fathom that I almost died.
I see that there's a lot more healing to take place in the hearts of all of us. I think my parents all need to talk it out many more times...the trauma of the scenario and the intense fear they felt. And for me- to talk it out about my loss of my precious baby whom I waited 4 years for and the trauma of losing my womanhood.
If you feel like hearing our story and don't mind us talking it out, then I would love to have you tell me that. John and I are looking for some more people who will be ok with hearing us out. Maybe several times over. The grief specialists say you need to express your scenario over and over again to bring value and clarity and eventually acceptance to yourself. Thanks and let us know if you'd like to be a part of our support team- whether to me or John or to us both. Email me at preciousdiamond9@gmail.com